top of page
DSC_2208 (2)-02_edited.jpg
Varad Tiwari

Soham - I am he.


It was a crisp moist morning at very remote place. A place far away from the ambitions of a city, full of content because of the gifts provided by nature. A place which can never breed your achievements but can breed happiness.

You don’t need to fly high and fulfill your dreams. Here at this place, you can live on the ground and live your dream.

When I opened my eyes in the morning my eyes saw the truth, my ears listened carefully – the sound of serenity , my nose took a breath of freshness , my skin felt the wind of compassion, my tongue tasted the blandness of simplicity and my mind gave birth to a beautiful thought , a thought that we often forget - “I AM ALIVE”.

So I decided to keep on reliving it and keep on walking through this path.

Halfway through my path I had an encounter with a pleasant soul , her eyes were filled with compassion and love , her leg though was limping but her heart was crossing every hurdle in its way to reach mine. Seeing so much love, my eyes also left its pain and agony and replicated the same compassion towards her. She understood my warmth like a little brother does by his elder dada’s (elder brother) hug. So she started to follow me.

We had a long conversation of silence, there were no words spoken but oh god what a talkative fellow she was.

There was elegance and grace in her stance , she walked slowly behind me limping yet without fear , following me blindly just because of the love and compassion we shared in our first sight.

I felt connected and emotion of bonding emerged within me but she , she just showed love yet no attachment. I felt as if we are partners forever.

I kept on walking and relishing every breath of mine. We kept on talking without words. And then after few minutes it was just me , she stopped walking with me way back , I waved her to join me but she didn’t want to , her part was done , I ran back to her , I patted her cute little head rubbed her belly and kissed her fourth limped leg. I tried to persuade her to keep on walking with me but her eyes kept on telling me to go ahead.

I have to move forward, I can’t stay right there, I need to take more steps. I could see my path very well but the bondage of emotional attachment that I created myself within me tried to stop me. It was me all along who created this attachment not her; she just wanted love, that’s it. I questioned her with baffling and irritated eyes that if she doesn’t want to complete the journey with me then why did she embark on it with me , I did not even call her to join me, it was she who was following me.

Such a simple fact I cannot acknowledge, such a simple truth – that her part is over, that it is time to depart now. A basic law of life –IMPERMANENCE which we know about since the day we are born. We know everything comes and go yet we cannot accept it after facing the same feeling of detachment over and over again through the years of life.

I don’t know how to say goodbye, I don’t even know her name. So I just showed gratitude which I had within me towards her for being a small yet very important part of my journey. I waved goodbye and moved ahead. Now I was alone again. Alone with my breath. First I was sad but slowly slowly I understood and finally accepted the fact that it’s me, just me , and always have been me. Suddenly after the acceptance of this fact I not just got over my sadness but actually became happy and peaceful.

I looked forward my path and then kept on walking ……………………

Title meaning - Soham is a Sanskrit word which means “I am he or I am that”. When it is applied directly to a person then it means to recognize oneself to reality and existence. Soham is also used as a breathing technique in a kind of meditation- Soooooo – is sound of inhaling and is chanted within mind while inhaling. Hummm- is sound of exhaling and is chanted within mind while exhaling. I opted this title for this little happy incident of my life because the entire time I was recognizing myself with reality of my existence. And existence can only be felt by a soothing breath.




bottom of page